Post by Category : Motivational

ARE YOU OPEN TO RECEIVE?  0

IMG_2374I must share a great gift our 9-year-old Madisyn received this morning.

We were heading out the door to go to school. Our car is parked in the garage. Madisyn yells that she is going ahead of me and will open the garage door and get in the car.
As she opens the garage door she hears a whisper….”go outside the garage, go outside the garage”…she is lured out in the beautiful sunshine and sees this magnificent, fragile heart laying there for her to claim.
She shrieks with excitement, pride and nothing less than sheer love and knowing, “Mamma, Mamma…hurry, look what I got!”

Chills! Instinctively I knew exactly where the gift of the heart came from but still curious as to what her response would be I asked her, “Where do you think that came from?”
She said “mamma, I know…it is a gift from my dad saying “good morning, I luv you!”

My heart beams and I treasure these moments always. I say a silent thank you to Mark. Madisyn was born just two short weeks after her daddy’s life was tragically taken. She was never able to physically feel his touch but she has been able to spiritually feel his presence. He has made his presence known to her and she has always felt his love. His way of connecting to her has always been through hearts. Not because I have found them or told her but because she has found them and told me! Mark has assured Madisyn that his heart is always with her and his love is ever present in her daily life. (Even 9 years later)!

I wanted to share this with you all today because if someone is seeking don’t ignore or be afraid of the signs. Be open to receive! Take the time in your deep loss to reflect, to look around you and hear the “whispers. We have all had signs of love. We feel it but we don’t embody it. We shrug it off as a coincidence. When you truly grasp the idea that life goes on; your heart will open up to these beautiful experiences. I am in gratitude for your time and ability to open your heart, mind and soul to endless possibilities gifted by spirit.

Do you have spiritual stories that you would like to share? I would be honored to receive!

A HAND TO HOLD  0

 

It is easier; some may say to grieve in silence than grieve out loud. Your loved one…unintentionally has left this physical space and you no longer have their precious Hand to Hold. Who will you go to now when the one you needed the most …you miss? Who will you go to when you do not want to solve an issue on your own or when you have concerns and accolades alike to share regarding your children? The comfort that was there when you needed advice, support, or simply what to have for dinner is no longer physically present in your life. When your partner is no longer there to lift you up, greet you, assist you in the decision-making you suddenly feel isolated and overwhelmed.

 

Some of us may have relied right away on a friend, family member or a stranger that today has become your best advice-giver. You spoke up and asked for help because you knew it was a way to aid you in your newfound life!

 

For some of us we suddenly become solitary in all sense of the word. We didn’t necessarily want to but we knew it was the only way we would survive! (Or so we thought?)

For me I was two weeks away from having our child when my beautiful husband was “picked” out of our lives! In less than a second!! Immediately I became stoic, strong, resourceful and determined! No one or no thing would take the place of my husband and I would take care of my daughter and myself alone because I was a SURVIVOR and if my Mark was not going to Hold my Hand then no one was! I was not trying to be a hero I was just trying to survive!

 

Nine and a half years later I have done a lot of good on my own but they were hard, unnecessary sleepless nights, down right raw grief to deal with and way too much time dealing with “things” and trying to figure out difficult tasks on my own. If only I had asked for a “Hand to Hold?

 

For me it was my survival tactic. I was afraid of being seen as “weak,” unable to take care of my own affairs or unable to lead this little family to a new beginning. Deep down inside I was just so heart-broken and lonesome for my beautiful husband.

 

We enter this unchartered territory gaining so much responsibility in our deepest loss. We become Mom, Dad, counselor, mechanic, friend, sole provider and cheerleader. It does not matter how old or young we are, if the passing was painfully slow or furiously fast none of us can truly say we were ever prepared to say good bye to the hand that always held ours.

 

Whether we let someone else hold our hand or not is just another process that we all move through.

Today I am still trying to relax and allow others to “softly” hold my hand.

 

In our deepest, darkest space we feel abandoned.

You are not alone! All of the “Modern Widows” have most likely been where you are coming from or where you are going.  We have an experience and expertise that none of us ever imagined adding to our life resume. We are here in support to hold your hand. Not ever to replace but to help each other through.

 

 

There will always be mountains to climb, tears to wipe away and tragedies that will shake us to our core. If we embrace each other in these moments; allow one another to lend a hand, love will surround us in ways we may not have expected. When this happens healing takes place and?what will follow is a new flow of life, a new way to breathe; love and honor all that has made you what you have become.

 

Alone we stand for something good but together we stand for something great! Whether you are a “newbie” to our vivacious circle or a veteran we all need to know that comfort, empathy and great hope resides in our newfound space.

 

No one will ever replace the void that was left in your partners passing but support is nearby if you just reach out…ask for a hand.  I will hold yours if you will kindly hold mine!

* I would like to note that this article was written for Modern Widows Magazine – http://www.modernwidowsclub.com and was first published there prior to this blog. This is a wonderful organization for anyone seeking comfort, hope and healing. We laugh, cry and acknowledge our loss and work to move through it together!  Please sign up for the magazine http://modernwidowsclub.com or contact Carolyn Moor to become a contributor.  Peace, blessings and love my fellow (W)ise (I)independent (D)evoted (O)ptimistic (W)arriors! 

“Snip-its” of a Grateful Love  4

Grateful for the true love of a beautiful man; Grateful for the sweet moments he held my hand. Grateful for the experience to be loved so pure and grateful for the moments we would just “pull” each other through. Grateful no words were needed to fill any space for silence just deepened the true love we had embraced.

Grateful to know we had each other’s backs in openly discussing our life and our path.  Softly weeping as we discussed our fear of one day losing the other seemed more than we could bear.  It was truth, honesty and obligation that set in since any day now our journey, as parents would joyfully begin.

Grateful no matter the circumstance our promise to evoke love, instill truth and pure compassion in our child was now steadfast and secure.

Grateful for the heart to heart shared by both, less than 72 hours later I was suddenly left alone.

Free Will exists and without a moments notice my lifetime love was heartbreakingly taken away.

 

Grateful for the moment to say good-bye to promise my beloved I would accept this life; I would survive.

Grateful to embrace right at that moment the deep love that was shared and not the deep loss that was ever present.

Grateful for our love child Madisyn Grace who would show me life in this new found space.

Grateful to have been loved by a man so wise, bold, beautiful and forever mine.

Grateful to advocate on his behalf to honor, serve and love our treasured little family, as we go down this life-altering path.

 

October 19, 2012 -Happy 10th Anniversary my Luv.

 

My Luv,

October 19, 2012 would have marked 10 years as husband and wife.  I have now been without you longer than I was ever with you. You taught me in life to trust, defend and stand solid for what I believe.  To never let another’s words, hatred or negative energy affect my life.  Job well done my luv; you always had my back and I yours. You may not be with us physically but your love and life remain sturdy on the physical plane healing, educating, encouraging and empowering others through all of our causes.  You were gifted to me for a short time. It was not long enough but I am grateful to have experienced a love so true that has guided, championed and with life’s twists and turns, simply walked me through.

 

Happy Anniversary Mark! You are loved, valued and appreciated just as much in your passing as in life. Thank you for loving me. I am truly living a life in gratitude.

Loving you from a far yet so close, Melis

 

 

 

One Gift to a family LOVED..  0

……One Selfless decision; One life Insurance Policy.

My life has evolved in a way that I would never have anticipated. My husband Mark, the writing Agent on our policy had his families “back.” He truly afforded us the opportunity to not only SURVIVE in life but gave us the true ability to THRIVE!

September is National LIfe Insurance Awareness month and I can not let my voice be heard enough! I wanted to make sure that I was a part of the great “Life Insurance Movement” that is taking place today!
One must understand the vital role that Life Insurance has in family planning.  Life Insurance has allowed me to propel my missions into action. It has allowed me to keep the promise to my husband and my daughter that I would “love, serve and protect my family well.”

One must also understand that Life Insurance is NOT about a monthly or yearly payment! It is just simply:
1. MINIMIZING ONES RISK
2. PROTECTING YOUR FAMILIES FUTURE
3.SHOWING YOUR FAMILY JUST HOW MUCH THEY ARE LOVED
4. HAVING CERTAINTY IN UNCERTAIN TIMES!

My daughter and I are living examples that life insurance matters. We were able to go way beyond staying in our own home and protecting our daughters future. Our life insurance has lead to advocacy, philanthropy and a life -saving bill.

My gratitude is in being a part of the great ‘Life Insurance movement” today!

My hope is that our story will inspire action and that if you have not considered life insurance or put it on the back burner that you will consider it today! Great love and life has emerged in my husbands untimely passing.  I could write about Life Insurance all day but the following 4 minute video says it all! Please take these few moments to view the link below.

My deepest gratitude to State Farm for this beautiful follow up presentation.

Life Insurance: A Promise for Tomorrow 

 

http://www.goodfinancialcents.com/life-insurance-movement/#more-24037

MARKED THROUGH HEARTS…  10

Love whispers, “I am here.”
I cried the night I received this beautiful gift …a heart necklace with a beautiful card written by my husband; “My heart is always with you; just remember that!”
Why? Yes! It was beautiful and I was 8 ½ months pregnant…did that explain the weepiness? Was it the feeling of being loved and cherished never wanting this moment to go away?
Looking at my lovely Mark so handsome, kind and thoughtful. He is mine; this baby is ours…we are truly blessed. I would promise a life of gratitude for this little family I was gifted. I tell myself that I am weeping at the sheer love and the anticipation for our newfound family just a heartbeat away…I was weeping because I had an extraordinary grand life of love and my husband who I appreciated more than life itself let me know with his kind eyes and in writing that “his heart would always be with us.” Comforting, pure and simple it was LOVE all wrapped in a magnificent heart!

Most know by now that Mark…Beautiful, bold and brilliant…my one and only comfort in life, with his gracious and giving heart…took its last beat October 24, 2003. Nineteen days prior to our love child Madisyn Grace being born. She would not physically lay her little body on her daddy’s chest and physically feel his heart beat; but in this life Mark would assure his daughter his love would be present in her life, that his heart would truly always be with her; just in another form. Being absent from Madisyn’s life was not an option and he would find a way to show her he is with her; watching her and loving her every moment. “Free will” could never let his presence diminish or be non-existent in his daughter’s life.

Three and ½ years into the future Madisyn and I took a trip to California with my great friend Stacey and her girls. A trip that I will fondly remember for the rest of my life and a trip that truly reinforced that my husband’s love would always be with us. Madisyn would find many hearts shaped stones; little did we know that this would be the first find of many. It was not just the heart shaped rocks that triggered my attention but the smile and talk of her daddy each time she would find a stone. “Look what daddy sent me Mamma.” It took my breath away but instantly I too felt comfort and love through those heart rocks that whispered “my heart is always with you, just remember that.”

I did not say anything to Madisyn…I just let her process in her way and I would in mine.

Six months or so after our trip I went to see an incredibly gifted and intuitive beautiful soul named Nora Hooper http://www.norahooper.com/
What a gentle and loving woman…a gift to so many. Through our 1 hour conversation she astonished me with her gift to connect to spirit. It was a beautiful and uplifting time. She told me things that no one in this life could possibly know except for my loved ones that had already moved on to another realm. She did ask me if I had any questions. Weepy once again I asked Nora if my daughter would know her father in her life and if so, how? She said without hesitation that Madisyn would always know in her soul that her dad is with her but that she will show the world that her daddy is with her by finding his love in the form of a heart. I was stunned and overwhelmed by sheer knowing that Marks heart truly “beat” on in our daily lives.
This was a conversation I would keep to myself for the next 5 years.

In these years I have stood by and witnessed a miracle as our love child would find a heart object. At times it is a in a stone, on the side of a mountain, a potato chip (yes its true!) and even in the form of a cloud. Deep contentment and gratitude would set in, love would fill my soul and my husband’s promise of always having his heart in our hands was absolutely present. It was a “mark” of tangible love that we could not only feel but also completely touch.

This past month we felt like we were on a spiritual journey (so it seemed that way). We discovered the North and South Rim of the Grand Canyon along with Zion and Bryce National Parks. Everyday on that journey Madisyn found her daddy’s love in the most remote and remarkable places. She found so many hearts that my in-laws and all friends present on that trip became believers in the spiritual love that was being gifted to our daughter Madisyn. It could not be ignored. His life and his love go on through this heart journey that we have become so familiar with. Pure and Simple gifted from a daddy to his daughter it IS LOVE all wrapped in a magnificent heart!

If you are seeking today I hope you know that life and love go hand in hand, trials and tribulations will always be present, deep loss and deep love will equally remain etched in our hearts throughout our journey on this earth and that we are truly not alone in this life.
We have a spiritual story to share that I believe is just another part of our journey. Life does go on. We may not know what that is yet but trust me our loved ones are present in our lives…we just have to open our hearts, souls and mind to the possibilities of something bigger than us. For my daughter and I it is the gift of hearts in all forms. A silent whisper of “I am okay, I love you, I will always be watching you and you will never be alone.” My daughter truly has always felt Marks presence particularly when she finds a heart. To this day I have not mentioned a word to Madisyn my conversation with my lovely Nora because she has already felt what I needed to be told. The innocence, strength and deep love of a child can teach us so much if we choose to listen.

My hope through this blog is that you remember to take the time in your deep loss to reflect, to look around you to hear the whispers..we have all had signs of love. We feel it but we don’t embody it. We shrug it off as a coincidence. When you truly grasp the idea that life goes on; your heart will open up to these beautiful experiences. I am in gratitude for your time and ability to open your heart, mind and soul to endless possibilities gifted by spirit.

Please see below just a few of the hearts that my dear daughter has found on her 8-year journey in this life (most of these within the last 2 years) . There will be more to come…this surely is not the end of this “story” which I believe is a great prelude of things to come.

 

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