A Widow Redefined

I am not easily impressed by titles. In our society today, so many people define who they are or are motivated by what they do or what title they hold in “life.” As an example a President of a Bank has a title – they can either define the title or let the title define them? Just as a married couple can define who they are by simply having the title wife or husband- they may be what society wants them to be based on their titles.

I have never been a title “girl” myself. I represent myself. What I am, who I am I present daily to whomever I meet.. (Don’t get me wrong); I loved being a wife, a mother, a daughter and a friend – but I do not get lost in being grouped together with everyone else. I am an individual and again the people that I come in contact will define me by Melissa Wandall not Melissa Wandall, Director of (?..).

When my beautiful husband lost his “physical life” I was suddenly “defined.” I was a WIDOW. “Oh that poor young “WIDOW.” Now, if I believed in titles I would become that poor thing that society would want me to be. But since I do not believe in titles I chose to be that lucky woman that was loved so deeply and so purely. That “woman” that was “left” with a love child that would remind her daily of the love that she shared with her husband; that “Woman” that was lucky enough to find love in her life-time that few people rarely find.

My hope is to redefine the term WIDOW. I could speak at length on this topic. When I see my name in print for one of my causes that I am working on I always see Melissa Wandall, Widow. And it makes me “shiver.” I do not want others thinking that I am that “poor thing.” So I have redefined the term “WIDOW” to make it work for my life and hopefully others out there that are searching for a positive definition of this “TITLE.”


That is who I am and how I define myself. I will change this “term” for the positive because that is who I am. It is dangerous when people become recognized by their title in life. We begin to think we stand for so much more or so much less than we really are by the society given title. We all need to get back to basics and stop feeling like we have to be who society wants us to be. We have to take back who we are, appreciate our God given talents and accept our “name sake.” No one is going to judge you for being who you are. We are our own worst “nemesis.” We have to break our own judgmental barrier and take back who we are inside. Lets write our own “story” in life and not let someone else “write” it for us.


Hello, sry for my bad english but Ih ave uncovered your web page and would say that I uncover your posts great simply because they have give me new suggestions and new aspects. Thanks for this details.

I am so happy to hear that my blogs have given you insights. If there is a topic that you would like me to blog on I am always happy to receive requests.
Have a wonderful day! Most grateful Melissa

Excellent! Your blog has a ton readers. How did you get all of these bloggers to look at your blog I’m very jealous! I’m still getting to know all about posting articles on the net. I’m going to view pages on your site to get a better idea how to attract more people. Thanks!

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you and your thoughts! Just keep going! I have not reached nearly enough! I am learning myself as I go along. I am just posting and it goes to tweet and my facebook it helps to draw in a bigger crowd! keep going! Don’t give up and let me know how I can be helpful!
I would welcome your comments on my post and if there is any topic you would like me to blog on I am always open to suggestions! Have a fabulous day! Melissa

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