…Love whispers, “I am here.”
I cried the night I received this beautiful gift …a heart necklace with a beautiful card written by my husband; “My heart is always with you; just remember that!”
Why? Yes! It was beautiful and I was 8 ½ months pregnant…did that explain the weepiness? Was it the feeling of being loved and cherished never wanting this moment to go away?
Looking at my lovely Mark so handsome, kind and thoughtful. He is mine; this baby is ours…we are truly blessed. I would promise a life of gratitude for this little family I was gifted. I tell myself that I am weeping at the sheer love and the anticipation for our newfound family just a heartbeat away…I was weeping because I had an extraordinary grand life of love and my husband who I appreciated more than life itself let me know with his kind eyes and in writing that “his heart would always be with us.” Comforting, pure and simple it was LOVE all wrapped in a magnificent heart!
Most know by now that Mark…Beautiful, bold and brilliant…my one and only comfort in life, with his gracious and giving heart…took its last beat October 24, 2003. Nineteen days prior to our love child Madisyn Grace being born. She would not physically lay her little body on her daddy’s chest and physically feel his heart beat; but in this life Mark would assure his daughter his love would be present in her life, that his heart would truly always be with her; just in another form. Being absent from Madisyn’s life was not an option and he would find a way to show her he is with her; watching her and loving her every moment. “Free will” could never let his presence diminish or be non-existent in his daughter’s life.
Three and ½ years into the future Madisyn and I took a trip to California with my great friend Stacey and her girls. A trip that I will fondly remember for the rest of my life and a trip that truly reinforced that my husband’s love would always be with us. Madisyn would find many hearts shaped stones; little did we know that this would be the first find of many. It was not just the heart shaped rocks that triggered my attention but the smile and talk of her daddy each time she would find a stone. “Look what daddy sent me Mamma.” It took my breath away but instantly I too felt comfort and love through those heart rocks that whispered “my heart is always with you, just remember that.”
I did not say anything to Madisyn…I just let her process in her way and I would in mine.
Six months or so after our trip I went to see an incredibly gifted and intuitive beautiful soul named Nora Hooper http://www.norahooper.com/
What a gentle and loving woman…a gift to so many. Through our 1 hour conversation she astonished me with her gift to connect to spirit. It was a beautiful and uplifting time. She told me things that no one in this life could possibly know except for my loved ones that had already moved on to another realm. She did ask me if I had any questions. Weepy once again I asked Nora if my daughter would know her father in her life and if so, how? She said without hesitation that Madisyn would always know in her soul that her dad is with her but that she will show the world that her daddy is with her by finding his love in the form of a heart. I was stunned and overwhelmed by sheer knowing that Marks heart truly “beat” on in our daily lives.
This was a conversation I would keep to myself for the next 5 years.
In these years I have stood by and witnessed a miracle as our love child would find a heart object. At times it is a in a stone, on the side of a mountain, a potato chip (yes its true!) and even in the form of a cloud. Deep contentment and gratitude would set in, love would fill my soul and my husband’s promise of always having his heart in our hands was absolutely present. It was a “mark” of tangible love that we could not only feel but also completely touch.
This past month we felt like we were on a spiritual journey (so it seemed that way). We discovered the North and South Rim of the Grand Canyon along with Zion and Bryce National Parks. Everyday on that journey Madisyn found her daddy’s love in the most remote and remarkable places. She found so many hearts that my in-laws and all friends present on that trip became believers in the spiritual love that was being gifted to our daughter Madisyn. It could not be ignored. His life and his love go on through this heart journey that we have become so familiar with. Pure and Simple gifted from a daddy to his daughter it IS LOVE all wrapped in a magnificent heart!
If you are seeking today I hope you know that life and love go hand in hand, trials and tribulations will always be present, deep loss and deep love will equally remain etched in our hearts throughout our journey on this earth and that we are truly not alone in this life.
We have a spiritual story to share that I believe is just another part of our journey. Life does go on. We may not know what that is yet but trust me our loved ones are present in our lives…we just have to open our hearts, souls and mind to the possibilities of something bigger than us. For my daughter and I it is the gift of hearts in all forms. A silent whisper of “I am okay, I love you, I will always be watching you and you will never be alone.” My daughter truly has always felt Marks presence particularly when she finds a heart. To this day I have not mentioned a word to Madisyn my conversation with my lovely Nora because she has already felt what I needed to be told. The innocence, strength and deep love of a child can teach us so much if we choose to listen.
My hope through this blog is that you remember to take the time in your deep loss to reflect, to look around you to hear the whispers..we have all had signs of love. We feel it but we don’t embody it. We shrug it off as a coincidence. When you truly grasp the idea that life goes on; your heart will open up to these beautiful experiences. I am in gratitude for your time and ability to open your heart, mind and soul to endless possibilities gifted by spirit.
Please see below just a few of the hearts that my dear daughter has found on her 8-year journey in this life (most of these within the last 2 years) . There will be more to come…this surely is not the end of this “story” which I believe is a great prelude of things to come.