Are you a survivor or a victim? It really is our choice. We can choose to fall prey to circumstance or we can choose to rise above it.
Some wounds are deeper than any one of us could ever image. Loss and life in general can bring one to their knees. To be fair not all of us has the necessary “tools” to get out of the “victim” role because it is easier to sit back and let life eat us up at times, to compare our pain to others, to believe that “our” individual life is worse off than any other. In reality that is just giving in to our circumstance. It is destroying who we could really become and the love that would surround us if we chose to stand up rather than fall down. Pessimism sets in and one instantly becomes surrounded by negativity because that is all they can “see.”
My sister Tammy was 10 when she was diagnosed with Bone Cancer. A 10 year old who loved to play outdoors, an avid softball player, musically gifted and a natural “jokester.” From the moment she was given the news by my parents she became a survivor. A very wise young girl she would take on her chemotherapy and radiation with “gusto.” Giving up was not an option for her. For 5 long years she battled this disease! She battled still laughing, still loving and still surviving!
In a moment she could have just said “I do not want to do this, poor me! Why me? Why now? But she never did; not even once! She chose to face up to this disease. My older sister lost her battle with cancer at just 141/2 years old on March 29, 1980. She lost her battle as a survivor not a victim.
That sister of mine taught my whole family that life is a choice and that falling prey as a “victim” was not an option.
Believe! A survivor resides deep inside each one of us. When the survivor in all of us presents itself the victim fades away, ones vision becomes clearer and life’s “hiccups” become manageable.
When we choose to survive our circumstance love flows to us and through us. Light and love come our way in all forms. When you hear that “whisper” you can do it, you can beat this, you can survive, that is you believing in yourself! Don’t look out…look within! You are a survivor!
It seems that we are so busy in our lives that at times we forget about the real important times. We do not mean to do that…our lives are so packed with our children, parents, friends, extended family and business relationships! We are always building, striving and trying to find a way to “make it. ”Sometimes we lose sight of what is really important. It is hard to “come back” to ourselves and meet our own needs.
We seem to always make promises to ourselves; “tomorrow I will spend more time with my kids, next weekend my spouse and I will reconnect on that dinner date, next month I will take my parents to breakfast.” Somehow, unintentionally tomorrow turns into two months! Life is short but it can be long, too. What is important to us now will not be important (after) without a moments notice these beautiful people that we wanted to connect with are no longer her to “bond” with. What are we left with then? A regret!
I feel very fortunate that my “regret” is very small. When we became pregnant with our daughter I made a promise that I would not be caught in a “pregnancy picture!” I know? I do not know what I was thinking at that time? I did not want to have to revisit my larger body down the road. Now, do not get me wrong I LOVED being pregnant for the end result but did not LOVE the sickness, weight gain and ankle swelling that came with my pregnancy (I am sure many can relate).
Now, looking back I have a regret that my self-consciousness over being pregnant has left me “empty handed” in my husbands untimely death. To remember that time of course is in my heart but to be able to show my daughter her daddy’s hands around her mommy’s protruding belly would be a gift to her.
Do not have any regrets. Live your life one moment at a time. Experience, play and eat a piece of chocolate cake! Share your story with me! Do not have any regrets! Be spontaneous! Instead of tomorrow, next weekend or next month make life happen today, It may seem like an inconvenience for a moment but the memory will last a life time!
A little bit about me:
Life has been anything but ordinary since my husband was killed by a red light runner 10 years ago. Since then, my daughter Madisyn and I have been on a journey that has led us through community service, safety advocacy and spirituality. Join us on our path of authentic love and empowerment. Find your inspiration. ~Grateful, Melissa